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Tag: death

  • Dialogue On Non Duality With Bodhi Avasa

    • PM.Would you talk a little about the experience you had as a child aged nine when you were consumed with the fear of death.

      It was my ninth birthday and that evening when I went to bed, I realised that I was getting old and it hit me in a profound way.

      A story ran in my mind about my life to come and, of course, the final part was death. I was seized with a huge fear and wanted to go downstairs to my mother but knew that she would not understand and would just send me back to bed. I also felt that she did not have the capability to help me with it so there was no choice but to stay with the feeling of one day coming to an end. I woke in the morning and it was forgotten about. That evening, as soon as I laid down to sleep the story came again, more rapidly arriving at the end, death, and again the feeling.

      This continued to occur for about ten months. Each morning it was forgotten about and each evening as my head hit the pillow and I began to feel sleepy, the intense feeling of becoming nothing would arrive. It just simply stopped one day.

      Many years later when the fear of death arose a short while before realisation I knew it was OK and that I could be present to it; it was already familiar ground.

      I guess it was a preparation for what was to come.

    • PM.You lived in a Christian community for a while during your twenties. What was it about Christ’s teachings that you were drawn to?

      I knew nothing really about Christ’s teaching except the usual stuff thrown at children in school. I was no lover of religion.

      I was about to commit suicide one evening when all of a sudden, I was watching my body as if from a globality of seeing; it lasted for about ten minutes and as it went away, I knew that everything was going to be OK.

      The next day, my landlord, who was a good friend of mine, kicked me out of the house I rented from him, asking me not to ask him why he was doing it but that he had a dream that night that it must be done.

      I just picked up the few belongings that I had and let Life take me wherever it wanted. Within about four days, I found myself in a Christian community in a place named Blockley, knowing that I had been brought there.

      I began to feel good about my life again for the first time in years, and in about a month I was feeling a very strong devotion for Jesus. Two months later, after a strange three-day period where I was unable to eat anything and was running a high temperature, I felt a great awakening happened. I knew something very important in my life was about to happen but had no idea what it could be.

      Then one night I awoke and went through the fear of death, realising that what I am is that which cannot die. It was a big suprise when in the morning the body was still alive and the world was still present. It was also clear that the ‘I’ that Jesus spoke of as being One was true of all beings; it was the same ‘I’. There was no one in the bodies, the ‘I’ referred to was nothing, an aware nothingness.

      For some reason I assumed that most of the lovely people there had realised this as they kept telling me that they had found Christ; so when I went down for assembly in the chapel that morning and shared what I had realised during the night, I was met with a very hostile silence. That was the end of my Christian period, three months. I was asked to leave.

    • PM.In 1972, you again had the same fear of death experience. Could you speak about that and how your life irrevocably changed?

      Yes, this was that night in the community. I awoke at around three in the morning and somehow knew that what I had sensed arriving for about three days was about to take place. I began to see that everything in the room was an energy and this energy was trying to reveal itself as light, but as it did so the items began to dissolve into light and fear arose.

      The arising of the fear prevented the full unfolding and the items would return again; each time they did it was clear that they were nothing other than light and that if this light outshone their appearance as separate objects, only this light would remain. This play continued between the dissolving of conditional existence into light and the fear that arose when this was happening.

      Each time this occurred, there was a clearer seeing that the objects had no real existence and yet neither did the fear; they were both the same thing manifesting. Eventually there was a letting go and an asking for whatever was happening to be allowed to take place without my interference. The room and my sense of being something separate from it dissolved into light and the profound realisation that this light too would dissolve into nothing. It was clear that this nothing was ‘I’ and that this is the source of everything. The light dissolved; what remained cannot be described.

      The next morning what remained exploded into an alarm clock ringing and a body getting dressed and the sudden realisation that there was no one present anywhere, it was all just energy in play.

    • PM.You then read the teachings of Ramana Maharshi. How did you respond to them?

      It was some three years later that I came across the book of the teachings of Ramana and in the first few pages, he described being overtaken by the fear of death to finally resting in stillness. It was a description of what had happened on awakening. Now I had a word for it: enlightenment.

      There were a number of things in the book that I could relate to and so this was a confirmation, but there was also a lot there that I could not agreed with. I could not agree with doing anything to get this, since in my own case, I had not done anything, it had all simply happened. Later, this became clear and it is still an area in Ramana’s teaching that cannot be agreed with.

      Nevertheless, this was the first time I had come across a written work that I could really relate to.

    • PM.You say that since then:

      “In the following years, as the residues of the ego concept completely disappeared, three communities were created in which there was a conscious living from Oneness.”

      Would you say that the ego concept has totally gone for you? And what does it mean to live from Oneness?

      Well, there is no longer a ‘me’ who the ego concept has gone for! There is no longer the concept that there is someone doing what takes place. There is the seeing that everything that takes place through the forms is simply impersonal action coming into play.

      If we look at things as separate objects or events happening, they are all dependent upon how they act by each and every other object or event happening, in the particular way that they are doing so in that very moment. If we look at things as Oneness, all the actions are happening as a movement of the One source. It amounts to the same thing.

      Living in Oneness is the seeing that in each moment, anything that is happening is the only thing that can be happening and no one is doing it. From the dualistic point of view, which would be itself an action of Oneness happening, there is an instigator of what takes place, right and wrong exist, etc.

      All of that is Oneness happening which cannot be other than what it is in that instance.

      We are therefore all living in Oneness, even if the seeing of it is not present; the not seeing of this fact is also an action of Oneness.

    • PM.To turn to the teaching, what actually is the message of Advaita in a nutshell?

      There is no doer, only doing.

    • PM.What is the difference between understanding the message of Advaita and seeing the message of Advaita?

      Understanding may or may not be present but the seeing is present even when the activity that we call understanding is not.

      There is the seeing that the action of understanding is happening or there is the seeing that the action is not present. When the understanding is happening it is ABOUT the seeing; when the arising of that action ends, there is just the seeing. The action (understanding) can appear and disappear in the seeing; the seeing is not therefore dependent on the action of understanding. The action comes and goes; that seeing is permanent.

      Nothingness cannot be understood but it can be seen that what is doing the seeing IS Nothingness. Nothingness is also what is giving rise to the action of trying to understand.

      Initially for most, there is naturally the arising of the desire to understand but after all the questions meet the answers that are coming directly from the seeing, they dwindle away and give way to the seeing. Then it is clear that the questions were coming from the same place (not locatable in time and space) as the answers. Just the Nothingness chatting with itself.

    • PM.In Traditional Advaita Vedanta teachings, the premise is that from an understanding of Advaita, a seeing may arise as a subsequent consequence. In other words, the two are linked; seeing is brought about by the understanding. But you are saying they are not linked in any way?

      Nothing that precedes this seeing in time creates the seeing as a result.

      The cockerel noticed that when it crowed in the morning, the sun began to arise; it then assumed that the sun did this as a result of its crowing.

      We could say that EVERYTHING that has happened since the moment of birth has resulted in the moment of awakening or we can say that not one single thing leads to that moment; they would both in a sense be correct.

      The fact is that the timeless is not dependent upon time or any of the actions that take place in time to see itself clearly as the eternal.

      When we are trying to understand something, anything, an activity that takes time is involved but when we arrive at the moment of having understood, understanding itself, there is nothing, just an empty Awareness. An Ah! Nothing.

      The Ah! that is realisation is a non-action; non-action is not dependent upon action for its existence. It is also not the result of action having taken place.

      The idea that something must be done before non-doing is the case is ludicrous. It is like saying, ‘I will start being here now tomorrow.’

      It’s an excuse of the mind to delay seeing what is ever present; that play of the mind too is an action of Oneness. It can be frustrating until seen clearly; then it’s a joke.

    • PM.There are traditional swamis who claim that the seeing has arisen by virtue of the understanding. What would you say to that?

      Jesus is supposed to have said, ‘By grace are ye saved and even that not of thine own doing.’ That sounds like the words of a swami to me.

      The moment of seeing is a given; it’s a gift from yourself to yourself.

      If it is characteristic for one to go the way of understanding then that is the way it is; if it is charateristic for one to not move in that way, then that is how it is. In either case, there may or may not be awakening.

      I meet a lot of people who have a lot of understanding and yet realisation has not taken place. I have also met people who never went in the direction of trying to understand and they suddenly see. I have seen people simply accompany someone to a talk with no interest in the talk and in minutes, suddenly step into the seeing of this. It happened one time to a long-term seeker whose wife had no interest in his silly hobby of questioning life. She had a baby of a month or so old and did not want to be left at home alone that evening.

      She was breastfeeding the baby and apparently not listening to me waffling on when suddenly, she stated that she and her baby and her hubby and everyone in the room were all herself and she was the one talking through this form. She spoke about this with great awe for about twenty minutes.

      The look on her hubby’s face said it all; years of hard work, meditation, studying deep scriptures on his part and she got it like that!

      If one enjoys understanding, that happens here, then that is the way it is but it is not a necessity that such action takes place prior to realisation.

    • PM.In recent email correspondence, when talking about the suffering in the world and the sad state of humanity, you said:

      “Let us be clear about something in regards to such actions appearing, they will not come to an end whilst the concept of being a separate being remains. The answer therefore is NOT to try to change the outer appearance but one’s view of one’s Self. To the degree that this can take place so too will the outer action of consciousness appear less separative and more compassionate.”

      Here the suggestion is to try to change one’s view of oneself. How is that to be done?

      Words tend to get stated in a way that they sound like commands; that was not the intention when this was written.

      BUT! Take a simple honest look at what is looking through the eyes of the form right now; if this can happen, it will be seen that there is nothing looking through the eyes. This nothing is what we are and when this is seen, things in the world begin to change without a wish for them to do so, or without effort on the part of someone. They change in a way that makes it a greater possibilty for so-called others to come into the seeing of this.

      As within so without. When it is seen that there is nothing within, then it is also seen that there is no within OR without; it is all One Self, one unbroken consciousness. The conscious living of this realisation is reflected as the whole.

      Shaving the face in the mirror (the outer) does not remove the bristles; the bristles seen there are a reflection.

      When it is seen that there is no central subjective object within that the experiencial information relates to, then there is no inside or outside, no distance, just Oneness.

    • PM.You speak a lot about love. It is a word that is often bandied around. What for you is the definition of love?

      Love is the biggest bandied-about word in existence, and even when it is believed to have a meaning, it is usually related to an emotion.

      Love here is the realisation, the seeing, that there is no body; when there is no one, there is only Love.

      Love is this that knows no sense of otherness; otherwise, the word is relating to a feeling or thought that is dependent upon the idea of separation, duality.

      Aloneness (all Oneness) is Love, regardless of how many bodies are present.

      Live knows no sense of otherness.

    • PM.Again in recent email correspondence, you said:

      “We must again know (not in the sense of understanding) our Self to BE this Love prior to all the actions that we see arising in consciousness. “

      How can we know something without understanding it? And by what means would we come to know it?

      Words again! This reference to knowing is not refering to understanding but a knowing that is fully integrated, a Being knowing.

      We are using words here to point to, and hopefully bring our focus to, rest upon something that is beyond description. Just because it cannot be described, it does not mean that one cannot BE it.

      Trying to describe nought in terms of 1, 2 and 3 would bring us no closer to understanding it, but if all the numbers were to fall away and the mind were to rest with what IS, then nought is immediately the case. It requires no description.

      The joke is we all know THIS in the sense that we are all BEing it; our attention is wandering from this to that, looking for this, and all along this is the One not giving the attention to itself, the place (not locatable in time and space) where the attention is arisng from.

      What is giving rise to the action of seeking is what is being sought. The seeking mind seeks this as an experience of some sort; so of course there are endless experiences to be had which keeps the attention from coming to rest at its source, which is a non-experience.

    • PM.Furthermore, you said:

      “If it were possible (and it is) for all human beings to come to SEE that what lives through the human form, appearing AS it, and BEING the experience of the play of Life, is what they are then this madness in our world would end.”

      Again, how is it possible to see life as is, without any methodology to achieve it?

      It is only when methodology, which would be an attempt of the imagined one, ends that this is seen.

      There is no methodology in order to watch this happening now – fingers typing on a key board, thoughts arising, etc. It just happens that way. What is maybe different here is that where all this action is appearing out of is not lost sight of.

      There was a time when this was overlooked and now that is not the case.

      No one was busy overlooking it when overlooking was the arising action; no one is busy not overlooking now that the seeing of this is present. Any attempt, the applying of any method at all, would be based on the concept that what is being sought is somewhere else in another moment to be found. Seeking is an action arising and when it ceases to arise, what will remain will be seeing, without any effort, method, practice or technique.

      What has always been will be seen by what has always been.

    • PM.How did you arrive at a point of seeing if it wasn’t through understanding?

      Understanding did take place and I guess that it was understood at some moment, that the wanting of that activity (understanding) to arise was itself an interference on the seeing of this.

      The mind itself saw its own limitation.

      One is trying to make to come to rest a still clear pool that has become disturbed; the trying to understand how to do that causes ripples on that same pool, hence the disturbance.

      Understanding still arises here, more clearly and much more swiftly than ever as questions are asked in talks or retreats but the background, as it were, is not lost sight of. The Stillness, within which all of that is taking place is present prior, during and after the action has taken place.

      When the body is alone, there is no arising of the activity of understanding in that way; there are no questions in the seeing of this, nor answers required.

    • PM.Would you say seeing is like surrender, by which I mean a total bowing down to the Self in the heart.

      Yeh, sort of. I would say it’s more like a giving up where no one does the giving up, it just happens.

      Surrender still sounds, when most people use it, like the final thing that they can do, and of course it never is because it doesn’t work either. There is still an element of a doer doing something in that word.

      I think Buddha just said one day, Eff It!, and walked away from all attempts to get this and soon afterwards came into the seeing of it; giving up happened.

    • PM.You say on your website:

      “Non c’è libertà, non c’è liberazione, perché c’è solo ciò che E’ che non è mai né libero né prigioniero.
      Only a fool would try to attain liberation through a method.”

      How else would you attain it?

      By the realisation arising that it cannot be attained, it is already one’s Being! One is always this.

    • PM.You also say on your site:

      “There is no freedom; no liberation, for there is only what IS which is neither bound nor free. By doing only what is appropriate in each moment one comes to see that there is no one who is restricted in any way at all.”

      I am reminded of the quote from Ramana Maharshi:

      “You yourself impose limitations on your true nature of infinite being, and then weep that you are but a finite creature. Then you take up this or that spiritual practice to transcend the non-existent limitations. But if your spiritual practice itself assumes the existence of the limitations, how can it help you to transcend them?”

      Could you comment on that?

      Ha! This is one of the things that he said that I totally agree with.

      By living as though one is something other than the One, one plays at getting rid of the limitations that one feels to be not Oneness. The one that imposes the limitations is the same one that imposed the idea upon itself that it is other than what it actually is.

      We are all the One and as this One, we are all the Source. If the source creates the idea of separation upon itself, it will then create ways to get out of the sense of being separation – it is endless entertainment. As the game goes on, the suffering involved in holding to be true of one’s self, that which is totally illusive, becomes too much to bear and the game falls apart.

      Whether we know it or not we create, it is our nature, when we are ignorant of this fact; we nevertheless create and creation done in ignorance results in the sense of separation being true. When awakening happens, then it is recognised that one is the source of all that is appearing; as a consequence of this what appears changes, for now it is not the creation of ignorance.

    • PM.When will I be graced with seeing rather than understanding?

      When the interest in undestanding is no longer arising. Anytime.

      What is it that is seeing the idea that you are not seeing this right now?

      That idea is words appearing as the mind. What is seeing those words is what you are; you are not the words, for they are just a temporary appearance. You are what sees them arising and as this One, you are permanent, ALREADY!

      Always nothing. Non-action witnessing actions arising and dissolving.

      It is exactly the same here; we are the same One.

    Interview with Bodhi Avasa

  • Death Experience

    It was about six weeks before I left Madura for good that a great change in my life took place . It was quite sudden. I was sitting in a room on the first floor of my uncle’s house. I seldom had any sickness and on that day there was nothing wrong with my health, but a sudden, violent fear of death overtook me. There was nothing in my state of health to account for it; and I did not try to account for it or to find out whether there was any reason for the fear. I just felt, ‘I am going to die,’ and began thinking what to do about it. It did not occur to me to consult a doctor or my elders or friends. I felt that I had to solve the problem myself, then and there.
    The shock of the fear of death drove my mind inwards and I said to myself mentally, without actually framing the words: ‘Now death has come; what does it mean? What is it that is dying? This body dies.’ And I at once dramatized the occurrence of death. I lay with my limbs stretched out stiff as though rigor mortis had set in and imitated a corpse so as to give greater reality to the enquiry. I held my breath and kept my lips tightly closed so that no sound could escape, so that neither the word ‘I’ or any other word could be uttered, ‘Well then,’ I said to myself, ‘this body is dead. It will be carried stiff to the burning ground and there burnt and reduced to ashes. But with the death of this body am I dead? Is the body ‘I’? It is silent and inert but I feel the full force of my personality and even the voice of the ‘I’ within me, apart from it. So I am Spirit transcending the body. The body dies but the Spirit that transcends it cannot be touched by death. This means I am the deathless Spirit.’ All this was not dull thought; it flashed through me vividly as living truth which I perceived directly, almost without thought-process. ‘I’ was something very real, the only real thing about my present state, and all the conscious activity connected with my body was centred on that ‘I’. From that moment onwards the ‘I’ or Self focused attention on itself by a powerful fascination. Fear of death had vanished once and for all. Absorption in the Self continued unbroken from that time on. Other thoughts might come and go like the various notes of music, but the ‘I’ continued like the fundamental sruti note that underlies and blends with all the other notes. Whether the body was engaged in talking, reading, or anything else, I was still centred on ‘I’. Previous to that crisis I had no clear perception of my Self and was not consciously attracted to it. I felt no perceptible or direct interest in it, much less any inclination to dwell permanently in it.

    Sri Ramana Maharshi

  • Death

    Everyone has to die; so die as your true nature. Why die as a body? Never forget your true nature. It may not be acceptable to many, but it is a fact… this body has nothing to do with you. If you must have an ambition have the highest, so that at least while dying, you will be the Absolute. Decide that now firmly, with certainty and conviction. Giving up the body is a great festival.
    Death is generally considered to be a traumatic experience, but understand what happens. That which has been born, the knowledge ‘I am’ which is the same everywhere, but which has gotten itself limited by the body, again becomes unlimited. A speck of consciousness is given up. Why the fear? How has this fear of death crept in? That which cannot die somehow became convinced that it was going to die. It is based on the concept that one is an individual who is born… all the fear arises from mere words told to you by someone. This is the bondage. It is like someone gives you a drink and then tells you, “I have put poison in that drink, and in six months you will die.? Immediately you become very frightened because you think that you will die. But then you meet a friend and he tells you not to worry. He says, “Here, drink this and there will be no death for you. First there is one concept which fills you full of fright, and then there is another concept which negates the first concept. Like this you get involved with the flow of maya and there are concepts, ideas, creations… pain alternates with pleasure… but all of it is just ignorance and misery. It is only when you search for your Self that you become aware that it is all a fraud.
    Be still in your beingness. Then even it will disappear and you will merge in Truth. All that needs to be done is to find out your real source and take up headquarters there. From the Absolute standpoint, your beingness is only ignorance. Nothing comes and nothing goes; it is a mirage. All there is is the Absolute, all there is is the Truth. The witness of the consciousness never comes into the realm of the consciousness. When you pursue this spiritual path of understanding the Self, all your desires just drop off… even the primary desire… to be. When you stay put in the beingness for some time, that drops off. Then you are in the Absolute… there is no movement for you. You are minding the show. Consciousness extinguishes itself, knowingness disappears, and you, the Absolute remains. That is the moment of death.
    When this life force leaves the body, it will not seek permission from anything. It came spontaneously and will leave spontaneously. That is all that happens in what is called death. Death is the culmination of the experience ‘I am’. After the termination of the ‘I amness’ there is no experience of knowingness or not knowingness. What did you know prior to your birth? Similarly, after death this instrument is missing; without the body there is no experience. Eternity has no birth and no death, but a temporary state has a beginning and an end. Even when the consciousness goes, you prevail – you always are – as the Absolute. As the consciousness you are everything that comes into manifestation. Whatever is, is you. But, when you fully understand the knowledge ‘I am’ and all its manifestations, then you will understand that, in truth, you are not that. You are the unlimited, which is not susceptible to the senses. By limiting yourself to the body you have closed yourself to the unlimited potential which you really are. Treat the body like a visitor or a guest, which has come and which will go. You must know your position as a host very clearly while it is still here, and while it is here you must also know what your position will be after it leaves.
    In spirituality there is no question of doing… only observing and understanding. But, if you try to understand spirituality through various concepts, like birth and rebirth, you will get caught up in them in a vicious cycle. And once you are caught up in them you are bound to have them. Out of concepts the forms are created. Right now, think of that last moment when the body will go – at that time with what identity are you going to quit? When you become aware of your true nature, then at the end of your life you will not be prepared to give even one paisa to extend your life. You will have lost all love for this manifested world and you will not want even this consciousness for five minutes more.
    The vital breath leaves the body, the ‘I amness’ recedes and goes to the Absolute. That is the greatest moment, the moment of immortality. The ‘I amness’ was there, the movement was there, and now it is extinguished. Being alive is never as an individual, but simply being part of the spontaneous manifestation. Now that has subsided in death. The ignorant one will struggle and get frightened at the moment of death; most reluctantly he will give up the consciousness to a concept he has come to call time. But the jnani gives up the beingness to his own true nature; for him it is the happiest of moments.

    Nisargadatta Maharaj

    On_Death-Nisargadatta_Maharaj.pdf

  • There is but One Being in all things and this One is you

    What it is shared here is a completely radical and uncompromising message. It has no prescriptions and does not suggest anything to do at all. It does not ask you to be a particular way, but rather that you are not required to be at all.

    It speaks about what has always been present and is right now but it was and is completely overlooked. It tries to describe a paradox.

    When we are born the sense of separation between the body and whatever surrounds it is not present, then after a few years the identity arises and everyone around you will confirm to you that you are a real person, with free will and choice, that you have to work hard to become worthy, satisfied… you have to make your life work. A feeling of contraction is present and it becomes the centre by which all thoughts, emotions and actions seems to arise from.You are now someone and life is happening to you, you have to defend yourself with threats, you seek pleasure and avoid pain. You really believe that you can do all of these things. We become seekers, looking for something that can fullfill a subtle dissatisfaction, a subtle but deep sense of lack. What this message describes is that the belief of having an identity, a separate me amongst separate others in a separate world is an illusion. There is no one and there never was. Everything just happens and there is no one ever in control of anything.

    There is no one right now reading this even if something there is strongly convinced that this is not the case. There is just THIS and it is NOTHING appearing as THIS. This cannot be understood or grasped by the me, but something can resonate there as this is the real nature of what is. In THIS ALL-NESS everything can arise, even the sense that separation is real, and that sense can fall away. There is no need or cause for that to happen. The illusion can remain until death or it can collapse right now.
    When this is seen (by no-one) it becomes clear that what we were longing for all along has never gone away. There is just everything and nothing. THIS is pure joy, love and freedom.

    Emotions, thoughts, feelings can still arise then in This, but they are not owned by a separate someone. There is no personal suffering any-more, there is just a flow of energy.
    The seeing of THIS is not an experience that you can make happen by doing, because in this seeing you won’t be there. THIS does not belong to anyone.

    The seeing of THIS, the so called awakening, liberation or enlightenment, can or cannot happen. There is no direction or purpose in LIFE. There is no-one there that can do anything about it. Even when an imagined you feels hopeless and helpless there is only hopelessness and helplessness happening.

    Avasa

  • Presence

    If, however inadequately, enlightenment could be described in terms of qualities, I see them as unconditional love, compassion, stillness, and joy without cause. Existence in time is only a reflection of those qualities, and whilst I maintain and invest my belief in my separate identity, I can only again express a reflection of those qualities and not be their essence.

    Whilst I do not know who I am, I am bereft.

    Enlightenment, however, has another quality, which is the bridge between the timeless and my illusory sense of separation. That quality is presence. Presence is our constant nature but most of the time we are interrupting it by living in a state of expectation, motivation or interpretation. We are hardly ever at home. In order to rediscover our freedom we need to let go of these projections and allow the possibility of presence. Its real discovery, or our access to it, can only be made within the essence of what is. This is where spontaneous aliveness resides and where we can openly welcome the unknown.

    Only here, in present awareness of simply what is, can there be freedom from self-image.

    To live passionately is to let go of everything for the wonder of timeless presence. When we are courageous enough to allow this we suddenly rediscover that we are the sole source of all and everything.

    Presence is not to be confused with “being here now” which is a continuous process of the separate self and has no direct relevance to liberation.

    Presence is a quality of welcoming, open awareness which is dedicated to simply what is. There can still be someone who is aware and there is that of which they are conscious… the sound of running water, the taste of tea, the feeling of fear, or the weight and texture of sitting on a seat. And then there can be a letting go of the one who is aware, and all that remains is presence. All of this is totally without judgement, analysis, wish to reach conclusion or to become. There is no traffic and no expectation. There is simply what is.

    At first it is enough to allow dedicated aware-ness to what is. Letting go of the one who is aware can easily follow, but it can never be a task.

    I cannot ‘do’ presence, simply because I am presence. So there is no process to learn because I cannot learn or achieve something that I already am.

    Presence is totally effortless and is nearer to me than breathing. Presence can only be allowed and recognised. What I tend to do most of the time is sidestep it or interrupt it.

    Existence would not be if it were not for presence. I am presence and you are presence. If we were not present, existence would not be.

    Presence emanates from the source of all and everything known or unknown. And that is what we are. We are the sole source of our own unique creation.

    There can be presence or we can remain separate. There can be openness or we can invest in manipulation. There can be a welcoming of the continuous simplicity and wonder of simply what is or we can be imprisoned by the limitations of our expectations. All is appropriate.

    Presence is the light in the darkness. It is atomic. One moment of presence brings more light to the world than a thousand years of “good works”. In presence all action is uncluttered and unsullied. It is spontaneity born from stillness.

    In allowing presence, however, we embrace a kind of death. What dies is all expectation, judgement and effort to become. What dies is the stuff of separation, the sense of self-identity, which can only function in the illusory world of past and future, memory and expectation. For it will be found that if we let go into simply what is, we will be in a place of unknowing.

    That is how the embracing of presence is a kind of death. What dies is the dream of individuality. What we let go of is our incessant need to feel that we are a separate entity… that we will continue as a fraction of the whole. And in that letting go we come to see that all death is a rebirth into liberation.

    For what we open up to in presence is the possi-bility of entering oneness, the rediscovery of what we really are. This is the bridge between the world of separation and enlightenment which once crossed, is no more.

    When there is presence the self is no more. We stand astride the living paradox and allow the emergence of freedom from the incessant traffic of becoming. It is a welcoming of the open secret.

    When there is presence there is awareness and this is the light that enters the darkness. The light enters the darkness and dissipates those illusions that appear to interrupt oneness. Awareness does not divide or suppress and thereby give energy to the unreal. It simply sees what is and brings the light which allows that which is illusory to evaporate.

    There is never any situation in which we cannot be united with the present. Isn’t that wonderful?! I will say it again. Presence is available in any situation, or put another way, freedom is already continuously available.

    There is sufficient in every day to be present with… pain, fear, the sound of a car, wind in the trees, my body in the chair, a pen in my fingers, emotional pain, habits, abounding self-judgement, guilt, walking, the taste of cheese, being in a hurry, being lazy, being in control, and the guru mind which insists that presence is non-productive and that I should be doing something “spiritual”, or at the very least, useful. Presence shines wherever it will, on any part of existence.

    If I try to bring light to one aspect of my story in particular, I disturb the natural flow and counter-point of the opportunities that life and my innate wisdom presents to me. For presence is not a task, and it cannot be used by my will. It is not a spiritual exercise or a tool to get somewhere, like prayer or formal meditation. Directly I attempt to harness it to a task I have already tried to constrain that which is beyond limitation.

    Presence is all-encompassing and is its own reward. It isn’t trying to get anywhere, and if I am, I have already interrupted it.

    However, when there is presence the whole being relaxes into its embrace. There are no more questions and there is no more striving. The mind departs the throne, the body relaxes, the breathing evens out and the perception becomes global. I rest in that which never comes and never goes away.

    When there is presence there is total intimacy and the senses are heightened to a degree previously unrecognised… I see and touch in innocence, I taste and smell for the first time, and hear a new sound that is vital, fresh and unknown.

    There is a subtle feeling of risk and serenity in presence. It is the first and last step. It moves beyond time and self-identity and provides the ground in which the discovery of what I am is made immediately and directly available.

    When there is presence, all that is illusory falls away, and what is left is real, vital and passionately alive. Life full on… not my life, not anyone’s life, but simply life.

    Presence does not bring heaven down to earth or raise earth up to heaven. All is one.

    Tony Parsons