To be aware is to be awake. Unaware means asleep. You are aware anyhow, you need not try to be. What you need is to be aware of being aware. Be aware deliberately and consciously, broaden and deepen the field of awareness. You are always conscious of the mind, but you are not aware of yourself as being conscious.
Nisargadatta Maharaj
The mind must learn that beyond the moving mind there is the background of awareness, which does not change. The mind must come to know the true self and respect it and cease covering it up, like the moon which obscures the sun during solar eclipse. Just realize that nothing observable, or experienceable is you, or binds you. Take no notice of what is not yourself.
Nisargadatta Maharaj
The ‘I am’ came first, it’s ever present,
ever available, refuse all thoughts except
‘I am’, stay there…
Understanding the ‘I am’, your sense of ‘being’ or just ‘presence’ is extremely important as on it rests the entire outcome of the teaching.
Firstly, are you at all aware of your ‘being’ or of the fact that ‘you are’? You have ‘to be’ before anything else can be,
your sense of ‘presence’ or the feeling ‘I am’ is really fundamental to anything that has to follow.
Secondly, this sense of ‘being’ or the feeling ‘I am’, was it not the very first event or happening before any of your living experiences could begin? Apply your mind go back in time to the moment when it dawned on you that ‘you are’ or ‘I am’. This ‘I am’ is still there with you, ever present, ever available, it was and still is the first thought, refuse all other thoughts and come back there and stay there.
So try to understand and grasp this ‘beingness’ or ‘I amness’ that is inherent in you. The more precisely and clearly you do it the more rapid will be your progress.
Nisargadatta Maharaj
What becomes clear after a period of the conscious seeking taking place is that the ego mind always wants to do the job of helping to reach enlightenment. This is its strategy for maintaining its image of itself as the doer or controller of what is simply happening.
Any form of meditation that holds an intention within it is for a future moment and as long as this imagined future moment is envisioned so is the continuation of the ego concept. What is a requirement for awakening is the realization that there is no actual past or future, just the moment, which has already dissolved when it has been claimed to be.
In the seeing of Oneness not only is there no past or future, other than a thought arising in that particular way, but there is no NOW! The term “Be Here Now” has no place in this seeing for where is NOW?
This term also implies that there is a someone to be here now and this is not the case. There is not and never has been a someone here now, such a term is based upon a deep ignorance and given as an order by this ignorance to an imagined someone. There is only this and this is already passed by the time it is claimed to be this, immediately replaced by a new this.
In fact unless the word THIS is referring directly to Awareness, which is the permanent this, it is a misused word. Awareness is an unchanging, permanent presence, even in those moments when its attention is on objects, and therefore unaware of itself. It is ALWAYS present as THIS that cannot be described because it is not a thing as such, it is indescribable because of the very fact that it has no description.
Usually when an experience has taken place which the mind has claimed to be enlightenment the expression is stated with awe “ It is indescribable WOW ”. This is a description of something NOT nothing. In the moment of actual realization there is a wow but is a gentle wow, a sort of “Ah! This is it” in all its obviousness, nothing new, totally familiar.
The so called spiritual seeker has been filled with the nonsense of spiritual jargon and has been measuring that against all the experiences, waiting for that to fit one of those experiences and so confirm that enlightenment has taken place. The moment of enlightenment is self confirming and fits none of the previously given descriptions for it has no description.
No help at all is required of the ego to bring about the elimination of the ego as the entity that it is imagined to be, when it is seen to be no more than an activity.
Any help or effort with intention will guarantee the continuation of the ego concept holding its place in the mind as an imagined entity.
This does not mean that there is abstinence from experience, in fact experiences are taken on board more fully than ever as there is no one to refuse them and so they are received and expressed fully. They come, they remain in expression momentarily and they dissolve, leaving behind THIS that is NOT an experience. All is simply happening, to no one.
Too often it is seen that helpers are present offering solutions in the form of deliberate doing to imagined doers to bring about the moment when it is realized that there is no doer, only the action of doing taking place as the stillness of Awareness releases and gives rise to another bubble of activity. This is a joke, the Divine joke, for ALL action is Divine action. The one imagined to be resisting this recognition and the one imagined to be no longer resisting are both activities of the One.
No one realizes and no one does not realize, these both are impersonal actions arising as sensation or thought, witnessed by this empty Awareness, no one.
When this is clearly seen it is obvious that all seeing is seen, witnessed, by the same Being and that it is this Being itself which is manifesting temporarily as things but is in itself the no-thing within which the manifestation is appearing, it is all One.
This then is “I”, I am the nothingness out of which all manifests AND the manifestation itself. This is what is true of us all, there is no US, there is only I.
I am appearing as you and myself as these apparently separate objects in all circumstances. There is therefore no actual separation but only apparent separation, the former is a BELIEF and the latter is SEEN. The former is the illusion of no other than the latter, witnessing , for there is no actual witness only witnessing. Throughout the whole of creation that is action only, no actor.
“ There is doing but no doer thereof ”
The Buddha
“ There is writing but no writer, a verb but no noun.”
Avasa
I am nothing, aware of itself as nothing.
Douglas Harding
Everyone has to die; so die as your true nature. Why die as a body? Never forget your true nature. It may not be acceptable to many, but it is a fact… this body has nothing to do with you. If you must have an ambition have the highest, so that at least while dying, you will be the Absolute. Decide that now firmly, with certainty and conviction. Giving up the body is a great festival.
Death is generally considered to be a traumatic experience, but understand what happens. That which has been born, the knowledge ‘I am’ which is the same everywhere, but which has gotten itself limited by the body, again becomes unlimited. A speck of consciousness is given up. Why the fear? How has this fear of death crept in? That which cannot die somehow became convinced that it was going to die. It is based on the concept that one is an individual who is born… all the fear arises from mere words told to you by someone. This is the bondage. It is like someone gives you a drink and then tells you, “I have put poison in that drink, and in six months you will die.? Immediately you become very frightened because you think that you will die. But then you meet a friend and he tells you not to worry. He says, “Here, drink this and there will be no death for you. First there is one concept which fills you full of fright, and then there is another concept which negates the first concept. Like this you get involved with the flow of maya and there are concepts, ideas, creations… pain alternates with pleasure… but all of it is just ignorance and misery. It is only when you search for your Self that you become aware that it is all a fraud.
Be still in your beingness. Then even it will disappear and you will merge in Truth. All that needs to be done is to find out your real source and take up headquarters there. From the Absolute standpoint, your beingness is only ignorance. Nothing comes and nothing goes; it is a mirage. All there is is the Absolute, all there is is the Truth. The witness of the consciousness never comes into the realm of the consciousness. When you pursue this spiritual path of understanding the Self, all your desires just drop off… even the primary desire… to be. When you stay put in the beingness for some time, that drops off. Then you are in the Absolute… there is no movement for you. You are minding the show. Consciousness extinguishes itself, knowingness disappears, and you, the Absolute remains. That is the moment of death.
When this life force leaves the body, it will not seek permission from anything. It came spontaneously and will leave spontaneously. That is all that happens in what is called death. Death is the culmination of the experience ‘I am’. After the termination of the ‘I amness’ there is no experience of knowingness or not knowingness. What did you know prior to your birth? Similarly, after death this instrument is missing; without the body there is no experience. Eternity has no birth and no death, but a temporary state has a beginning and an end. Even when the consciousness goes, you prevail – you always are – as the Absolute. As the consciousness you are everything that comes into manifestation. Whatever is, is you. But, when you fully understand the knowledge ‘I am’ and all its manifestations, then you will understand that, in truth, you are not that. You are the unlimited, which is not susceptible to the senses. By limiting yourself to the body you have closed yourself to the unlimited potential which you really are. Treat the body like a visitor or a guest, which has come and which will go. You must know your position as a host very clearly while it is still here, and while it is here you must also know what your position will be after it leaves.
In spirituality there is no question of doing… only observing and understanding. But, if you try to understand spirituality through various concepts, like birth and rebirth, you will get caught up in them in a vicious cycle. And once you are caught up in them you are bound to have them. Out of concepts the forms are created. Right now, think of that last moment when the body will go – at that time with what identity are you going to quit? When you become aware of your true nature, then at the end of your life you will not be prepared to give even one paisa to extend your life. You will have lost all love for this manifested world and you will not want even this consciousness for five minutes more.
The vital breath leaves the body, the ‘I amness’ recedes and goes to the Absolute. That is the greatest moment, the moment of immortality. The ‘I amness’ was there, the movement was there, and now it is extinguished. Being alive is never as an individual, but simply being part of the spontaneous manifestation. Now that has subsided in death. The ignorant one will struggle and get frightened at the moment of death; most reluctantly he will give up the consciousness to a concept he has come to call time. But the jnani gives up the beingness to his own true nature; for him it is the happiest of moments.
Nisargadatta Maharaj
Empty but aware
Avasa
If, however inadequately, enlightenment could be described in terms of qualities, I see them as unconditional love, compassion, stillness, and joy without cause. Existence in time is only a reflection of those qualities, and whilst I maintain and invest my belief in my separate identity, I can only again express a reflection of those qualities and not be their essence.
Whilst I do not know who I am, I am bereft.
Enlightenment, however, has another quality, which is the bridge between the timeless and my illusory sense of separation. That quality is presence. Presence is our constant nature but most of the time we are interrupting it by living in a state of expectation, motivation or interpretation. We are hardly ever at home. In order to rediscover our freedom we need to let go of these projections and allow the possibility of presence. Its real discovery, or our access to it, can only be made within the essence of what is. This is where spontaneous aliveness resides and where we can openly welcome the unknown.
Only here, in present awareness of simply what is, can there be freedom from self-image.
To live passionately is to let go of everything for the wonder of timeless presence. When we are courageous enough to allow this we suddenly rediscover that we are the sole source of all and everything.
Presence is not to be confused with “being here now” which is a continuous process of the separate self and has no direct relevance to liberation.
Presence is a quality of welcoming, open awareness which is dedicated to simply what is. There can still be someone who is aware and there is that of which they are conscious… the sound of running water, the taste of tea, the feeling of fear, or the weight and texture of sitting on a seat. And then there can be a letting go of the one who is aware, and all that remains is presence. All of this is totally without judgement, analysis, wish to reach conclusion or to become. There is no traffic and no expectation. There is simply what is.
At first it is enough to allow dedicated aware-ness to what is. Letting go of the one who is aware can easily follow, but it can never be a task.
I cannot ‘do’ presence, simply because I am presence. So there is no process to learn because I cannot learn or achieve something that I already am.
Presence is totally effortless and is nearer to me than breathing. Presence can only be allowed and recognised. What I tend to do most of the time is sidestep it or interrupt it.
Existence would not be if it were not for presence. I am presence and you are presence. If we were not present, existence would not be.
Presence emanates from the source of all and everything known or unknown. And that is what we are. We are the sole source of our own unique creation.
There can be presence or we can remain separate. There can be openness or we can invest in manipulation. There can be a welcoming of the continuous simplicity and wonder of simply what is or we can be imprisoned by the limitations of our expectations. All is appropriate.
Presence is the light in the darkness. It is atomic. One moment of presence brings more light to the world than a thousand years of “good works”. In presence all action is uncluttered and unsullied. It is spontaneity born from stillness.
In allowing presence, however, we embrace a kind of death. What dies is all expectation, judgement and effort to become. What dies is the stuff of separation, the sense of self-identity, which can only function in the illusory world of past and future, memory and expectation. For it will be found that if we let go into simply what is, we will be in a place of unknowing.
That is how the embracing of presence is a kind of death. What dies is the dream of individuality. What we let go of is our incessant need to feel that we are a separate entity… that we will continue as a fraction of the whole. And in that letting go we come to see that all death is a rebirth into liberation.
For what we open up to in presence is the possi-bility of entering oneness, the rediscovery of what we really are. This is the bridge between the world of separation and enlightenment which once crossed, is no more.
When there is presence the self is no more. We stand astride the living paradox and allow the emergence of freedom from the incessant traffic of becoming. It is a welcoming of the open secret.
When there is presence there is awareness and this is the light that enters the darkness. The light enters the darkness and dissipates those illusions that appear to interrupt oneness. Awareness does not divide or suppress and thereby give energy to the unreal. It simply sees what is and brings the light which allows that which is illusory to evaporate.
There is never any situation in which we cannot be united with the present. Isn’t that wonderful?! I will say it again. Presence is available in any situation, or put another way, freedom is already continuously available.
There is sufficient in every day to be present with… pain, fear, the sound of a car, wind in the trees, my body in the chair, a pen in my fingers, emotional pain, habits, abounding self-judgement, guilt, walking, the taste of cheese, being in a hurry, being lazy, being in control, and the guru mind which insists that presence is non-productive and that I should be doing something “spiritual”, or at the very least, useful. Presence shines wherever it will, on any part of existence.
If I try to bring light to one aspect of my story in particular, I disturb the natural flow and counter-point of the opportunities that life and my innate wisdom presents to me. For presence is not a task, and it cannot be used by my will. It is not a spiritual exercise or a tool to get somewhere, like prayer or formal meditation. Directly I attempt to harness it to a task I have already tried to constrain that which is beyond limitation.
Presence is all-encompassing and is its own reward. It isn’t trying to get anywhere, and if I am, I have already interrupted it.
However, when there is presence the whole being relaxes into its embrace. There are no more questions and there is no more striving. The mind departs the throne, the body relaxes, the breathing evens out and the perception becomes global. I rest in that which never comes and never goes away.
When there is presence there is total intimacy and the senses are heightened to a degree previously unrecognised… I see and touch in innocence, I taste and smell for the first time, and hear a new sound that is vital, fresh and unknown.
There is a subtle feeling of risk and serenity in presence. It is the first and last step. It moves beyond time and self-identity and provides the ground in which the discovery of what I am is made immediately and directly available.
When there is presence, all that is illusory falls away, and what is left is real, vital and passionately alive. Life full on… not my life, not anyone’s life, but simply life.
Presence does not bring heaven down to earth or raise earth up to heaven. All is one.
Tony Parsons
Least aware of what he should be most assured, His glassy essence
William Shakespeare